1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,151
[Crow caws]
2
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,054
3
00:00:06,156 --> 00:00:08,089
[Indistinct conversations]
4
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,501
Axl: Hey, Lexie.
5
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,906
Axl!
6
00:00:16,008 --> 00:00:17,708
Devin?
7
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:20,243
Whoa! Hey!
8
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,720
Haven't seen you in like, a year.
9
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,021
Yeah. Where've you been, man?
10
00:00:23,046 --> 00:00:25,057
I stopped by your place once,
but it was all nice,
11
00:00:25,082 --> 00:00:26,801
so I knew you couldn't be
living there anymore.
12
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,493
-Wow, you -- you did?
-Yeah.
13
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:29,752
How come you didn't tell me you moved?
14
00:00:29,854 --> 00:00:30,820
Ow! Well...
15
00:00:30,922 --> 00:00:33,369
[laughs] I did.
16
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,519
I moved. I'm living in a Winnebago now.
17
00:00:35,581 --> 00:00:36,659
Wait a minute.
18
00:00:36,684 --> 00:00:39,921
The infamous 'Bago parties --
That's you?
19
00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:40,962
Guilty. [Chuckles]
20
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,232
Why'd you never invite me?
21
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,367
You know I'm always good for a six-pack!
22
00:00:44,469 --> 00:00:47,107
Oh, my God! This is, like, so wild.
23
00:00:47,209 --> 00:00:48,605
I mean, I haven't seen you
in, like, forever.
24
00:00:48,707 --> 00:00:50,640
Then you just show up out of the blue.
25
00:00:50,742 --> 00:00:51,741
Axl?
26
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,543
Cassidy!
27
00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:55,829
Axl, wow! Hi!
28
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,598
So good to see you!
29
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:59,313
What are you doing here?
30
00:00:59,338 --> 00:01:00,630
Aren't you supposed to be at Vassar?
31
00:01:00,732 --> 00:01:02,362
No, no. I'm out already.
32
00:01:02,464 --> 00:01:04,457
I had enough credits to graduate early,
33
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:06,582
which sounds great
but actually just means
34
00:01:06,684 --> 00:01:08,173
I'm unemployed six months earlier.
35
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:11,016
Yikes. And here I thought
you were smarter than me.
36
00:01:11,118 --> 00:01:14,390
Oh, you're that Cassidy!
Axl's talked all about you.
37
00:01:14,415 --> 00:01:15,557
He has?
38
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:16,625
[Laughs] Yeah.
39
00:01:16,727 --> 00:01:18,266
Cassidy, Devin. Devin, Cassidy.
40
00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:20,562
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you guys...
41
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:21,930
No, no.
42
00:01:22,032 --> 00:01:24,009
I mean, well, we used to be
but before I got married.
43
00:01:24,112 --> 00:01:25,300
You're married!
44
00:01:25,402 --> 00:01:26,335
What?
45
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,269
No, no. Not now.
46
00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:28,637
Not married now.
47
00:01:28,739 --> 00:01:30,872
I mean, it was an annulment
and, you know, it's over.
48
00:01:30,975 --> 00:01:32,420
It only lasted a couple of days.
49
00:01:32,445 --> 00:01:35,043
Who wants to do shots.
Right? Who's got...
50
00:01:37,114 --> 00:01:38,080
Axl?
51
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,648
Oh, God.
52
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,617
Wow! Hey! What are you doing here?
53
00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:44,219
I thought that seniors
didn't come to this party.
54
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,510
Well, I am certainly
regretting it. [Chuckles]
55
00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:47,850
And who's this?
56
00:01:47,952 --> 00:01:50,626
This is Lexie, Sue's roommate.
57
00:01:50,728 --> 00:01:51,860
You look good.
58
00:01:51,962 --> 00:01:52,995
Thank you.
59
00:01:53,097 --> 00:01:56,231
I mean, uh, [laughs] not just you.
60
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,690
You're not the only one that looks good.
61
00:01:57,792 --> 00:02:00,151
You all look good! Everybody looks good!
62
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,537
I'm sorry.
63
00:02:01,639 --> 00:02:03,124
I feel like I'm interrupting something.
64
00:02:03,226 --> 00:02:04,570
No, we were just catching up.
65
00:02:04,672 --> 00:02:06,541
Well, this could not get any weirder.
66
00:02:06,644 --> 00:02:07,909
Hi, Axl.
67
00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:11,455
A white wolf came to me
in a dream and told me
68
00:02:11,557 --> 00:02:14,750
if I sacrificed my hair,
you'd come back to me.
69
00:02:14,852 --> 00:02:17,664
You should probably make that
into tea and drink it.
70
00:02:17,766 --> 00:02:18,997
Oh.
71
00:02:23,427 --> 00:02:24,760
Mike: What the hell is that?
72
00:02:24,862 --> 00:02:26,455
Do you not ever listen to me?
73
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,479
I told you guys --
74
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,281
the library's closing down
their east wing
75
00:02:29,306 --> 00:02:31,483
so they can turn it
into a Tommy T's franchise.
76
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:34,108
No kidding? A Tommy T's in Orson?
77
00:02:34,210 --> 00:02:35,688
Oh, I love Tommy T's.
78
00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:37,823
You're missing the point. It's sad.
79
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,725
They're shutting down half the library
80
00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:41,827
because people just read
on their phones now.
81
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:43,862
So to raise money
to save the other wing,
82
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,431
they're selling all the
displaced books and equipment.
83
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,534
That's why I got a sweet deal
on this baby.
84
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,503
They open up again at 6:00 a.m.
if you wanna check out the sale.
85
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:54,480
Yeah, I'm not getting up
at 6:00 to buy books,
86
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,690
but I would get up at 6:00
for Tommy T's.
87
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,062
Okay, now I'm craving
88
00:02:58,174 --> 00:03:00,022
a double-fried Big Tommy with bacon.
89
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:02,746
They guarantee a tablespoon
of mayo in every bite.
90
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:05,184
I should of stayed with the Fergusons.
91
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,784
[Door opens, closes]
92
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:10,964
Is that my dress?
93
00:03:11,032 --> 00:03:12,239
Oh. Yeah.
94
00:03:12,308 --> 00:03:14,396
Remember how you said I could
borrow anything in your closet?
95
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,411
Well, I have
the Chancellor's Ball to go to,
96
00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:18,006
so hope you don't mind.
97
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,497
Please. What's the point of having
98
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:20,631
a formal-gown collection
99
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,266
if you can't share it with friends?
100
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,935
Can I just make a teeny adjustment?
101
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,369
Uh-huh.
102
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,174
Ah.
103
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,509
There.
104
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:35,046
Wow, I can't believe you're
going to the Chancellor's Ball.
105
00:03:35,071 --> 00:03:35,976
I know.
106
00:03:36,044 --> 00:03:38,149
It's like the only perk of
being a Dragonette tour guide.
107
00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:39,917
Well, besides the mini-flashlights.
108
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,351
So, I bit the bullet
and asked Tyler to take me.
109
00:03:42,453 --> 00:03:43,578
Ooh.
110
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,423
Are things heating up between you two?
111
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,907
I don't know. I think so.
112
00:03:47,976 --> 00:03:49,549
I mean, tonight he took me
113
00:03:49,618 --> 00:03:51,229
to the garage where they keep the carts.
114
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,547
Ah.
115
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:53,748
There's all these plugs,
116
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:55,683
and you can hear everything charging.
117
00:03:55,752 --> 00:03:57,688
It's more romantic than it sounds.
118
00:03:57,791 --> 00:03:59,088
Wow, that's great!
119
00:03:59,157 --> 00:04:00,121
I don't know.
120
00:04:00,223 --> 00:04:03,724
We just started dating,
and the ball is such a big deal.
121
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,459
I hope it's not too soon.
122
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:08,296
No, the man showed you his cart garage.
123
00:04:08,887 --> 00:04:10,398
That is true.
124
00:04:10,921 --> 00:04:13,145
So, how was the party?
125
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,970
Oh, my God, it was so weird.
126
00:04:15,072 --> 00:04:17,005
Out of the blue, Axl shows up.
127
00:04:17,107 --> 00:04:19,762
Really? He's a senior.
128
00:04:19,829 --> 00:04:20,998
Why would he do that?
129
00:04:21,023 --> 00:04:22,467
I don't know! But get this --
130
00:04:22,536 --> 00:04:25,166
All of his ex-girlfriends
were there, too.
131
00:04:25,191 --> 00:04:26,127
What?
132
00:04:26,152 --> 00:04:27,904
Yeah. Uh, what's her name --
133
00:04:27,972 --> 00:04:31,290
Uh, Devin and Cassidy
and some wizard lady.
134
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,246
I felt so awkward.
135
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,906
Thank God he has no idea
how I feel about him.
136
00:04:36,008 --> 00:04:39,586
[Laughs] Yeah. Thank God for that.
137
00:04:42,624 --> 00:04:45,125
Man, you must've had
some wild night last night.
138
00:04:45,227 --> 00:04:46,359
Tiny question --
139
00:04:46,462 --> 00:04:48,428
What's with the bag of hair?
140
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:50,517
Ugh. Weird Ashley.
141
00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:51,574
[Groans]
142
00:04:52,303 --> 00:04:53,673
[Sighs] Yeah.
143
00:04:53,698 --> 00:04:55,153
Weird Ashley was there,
144
00:04:55,178 --> 00:04:57,712
Cassidy was there, Devin was there
145
00:04:57,737 --> 00:04:59,206
Okay, Dorothy.
146
00:04:59,274 --> 00:05:00,674
How much green beer did you drink?
147
00:05:00,776 --> 00:05:02,342
No, seriously, man, they were all there.
148
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:04,277
It was freaky.
I had to get out of there,
149
00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:05,879
so I told them all
I was getting us beers,
150
00:05:05,981 --> 00:05:08,048
beat my way out of the crowd
with this giant shamrock
151
00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:09,015
and never looked back.
152
00:05:09,118 --> 00:05:10,040
I mean, what are the odds
153
00:05:10,065 --> 00:05:12,130
all my ex-girlfriends
would show up at the same party?
154
00:05:12,232 --> 00:05:13,890
Wow! Don't you get it?
155
00:05:13,992 --> 00:05:15,247
It's a sign.
156
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,193
The universe is clearly
trying to tell you something.
157
00:05:17,262 --> 00:05:18,217
What?
158
00:05:18,242 --> 00:05:19,793
I don't know. Could be about love,
159
00:05:19,895 --> 00:05:21,076
could be you're supposed
to pick one of 'em.
160
00:05:21,178 --> 00:05:23,202
But you'll never know,
my friend, because you bolted
161
00:05:23,304 --> 00:05:25,024
before the universe
could give you the answer.
162
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,057
So, what do I do now?
163
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,091
Only one thing to do.
164
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,459
Toss this nasty hair bag
165
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,761
and seek the guidance of a higher power.
166
00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:32,430
So, we're watching Matthew McConaughey
167
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:33,864
in "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?"
168
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,733
Unless you got a better idea.
169
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,699
[Slides whirring]
170
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,035
Uh, what's this?
171
00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:47,837
The greatest day of my life!
172
00:05:47,939 --> 00:05:49,038
Can you believe it?
173
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,840
We are now the proud owners
174
00:05:50,909 --> 00:05:53,009
of our very own microfiche machine.
175
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:54,877
And just to be clear, this is mine,
176
00:05:54,946 --> 00:05:57,547
but I'm leaving it out
for all of us so we can use it.
177
00:05:57,615 --> 00:05:59,649
You actually spent money for this thing?
178
00:05:59,717 --> 00:06:01,834
Yep, $60.
179
00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:03,640
Best birthday money I ever spent.
180
00:06:03,709 --> 00:06:05,661
And to think
I was this close to blowing it
181
00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:07,356
on a goat for a starving family.
182
00:06:07,425 --> 00:06:09,959
[Sighs]
183
00:06:12,946 --> 00:06:13,845
Thank you.
184
00:06:13,870 --> 00:06:15,767
What the hell are you drinking, Heck?
185
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,826
It's called a White Peach Bellini.
186
00:06:17,894 --> 00:06:19,894
Ooh. You drink girly drinks now?
187
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:23,131
Clearly, without my guidance
you've gone off the rails.
188
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:24,099
Oh.
189
00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:27,602
Uh, so, what's going on?
190
00:06:27,671 --> 00:06:30,238
I haven't seen you in a year,
then I run into you at a party,
191
00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,706
and now you wanna get drinks?
192
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:32,907
Uh, yeah.
193
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,276
Well, you know,
this might sound kinda strange,
194
00:06:35,345 --> 00:06:38,847
but, um,
I've got some questions about...
195
00:06:38,949 --> 00:06:40,482
the universe.
196
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:43,919
Ah, universe questions. Bring it.
197
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:44,905
Okay, great.
198
00:06:45,007 --> 00:06:47,722
So, when we were going out,
uh, I don't know,
199
00:06:47,758 --> 00:06:49,857
it seemed like we were
pretty good together.
200
00:06:49,926 --> 00:06:51,559
I mean, we both liked to hang,
201
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,172
and we both liked to dip
our fries in mustard,
202
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,896
we were both awesome at sports.
203
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,164
-I'm better.
-Debatable.
204
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:57,666
So, why did we break up again?
205
00:06:57,768 --> 00:07:00,769
Uh, you tell me. Did we, even?
206
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,771
I mean, I know we talked
about seeing other people,
207
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,973
but I thought we we'd still
hang out and watch football,
208
00:07:05,075 --> 00:07:06,608
maybe mess around a little,
209
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,376
but you didn't text or anything.
210
00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:10,111
Kinda seemed like you
were sending me a message.
211
00:07:10,213 --> 00:07:11,279
No! No, no, no, no, no.
212
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,647
There's no message there.
I am not that deep.
213
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:14,015
Okay, a little advice --
214
00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:15,517
If you really wanted to see me,
you knew where I lived!
215
00:07:15,585 --> 00:07:16,951
Well, how was I supposed to know that?
216
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,186
If I did, maybe it would've --
217
00:07:18,255 --> 00:07:19,988
Hey, if the Seahawks had handed the ball
218
00:07:20,057 --> 00:07:21,723
to Marshawn Lynch at the one-yard line,
219
00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:23,258
they could've won the Super Bowl,
220
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,756
but, you know, whatever.
221
00:07:24,825 --> 00:07:26,496
Hindsight's 20/20, right?
222
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:30,465
Oh, right. Other arm.
223
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:31,599
Yeah.
224
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:33,968
[Television playing]
225
00:07:34,071 --> 00:07:36,404
[Slides whirring]
226
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,042
Check out this story
from the Orson Herald from 1954.
227
00:07:41,111 --> 00:07:44,145
"Local woman finds hat in tree."
228
00:07:44,739 --> 00:07:47,821
Local man on couch
wants peace and quiet.
229
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,175
I'm telling you, Dad,
230
00:07:49,243 --> 00:07:51,710
this is a bottomless
fountain of information.
231
00:07:51,779 --> 00:07:54,580
Ooh, here's one from August 1932.
232
00:07:54,649 --> 00:07:56,515
"Have you seen this dog?"
233
00:07:56,617 --> 00:07:57,967
I wonder if they found it.
234
00:07:58,035 --> 00:07:59,418
That dog is dead.
235
00:07:59,487 --> 00:08:01,120
Everyone who cared
about that dog is dead.
236
00:08:01,222 --> 00:08:02,388
The new dog they bought
237
00:08:02,456 --> 00:08:04,456
to get over the pain of losing
that dog is dead.
238
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,596
You're a mean, mean man.
239
00:08:08,262 --> 00:08:09,929
Eh.
240
00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:17,398
Oh, uh, it's a blood orange martini.
241
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,972
I asked for a beer,
but the guy brought me this.
242
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,978
Well, college is a time to experiment.
243
00:08:24,085 --> 00:08:26,605
So, wow.
244
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,880
Here we are.
245
00:08:28,617 --> 00:08:30,620
Why are we here, exactly?
246
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,511
Yeah, I'm just trying
to figure some stuff out.
247
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,613
You're kind of the first girl
I ever really fell for,
248
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:35,789
and it was pretty intense.
249
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,516
I mean, we were, like,
pretty much opposites,
250
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:40,127
but we managed to make it work
for a while, right?
251
00:08:40,195 --> 00:08:41,853
Why couldn't we make it work?
252
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:46,631
Well, for one, we were
a thousand miles apart.
253
00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:48,891
Actually, we were 827.
254
00:08:48,926 --> 00:08:51,096
I should know. I drove 409 of them.
255
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,755
Wait, what? What are you talking about?
256
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,344
Yeah, um, actually, freshman year,
257
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,444
I, uh, drove up to Vassar to see you,
258
00:08:58,546 --> 00:09:00,946
but I stopped halfway
and turned around and came home.
259
00:09:01,015 --> 00:09:02,848
Why did you turn around?
260
00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:05,785
I don't know.
I guess I just kinda freaked.
261
00:09:05,853 --> 00:09:08,387
Thought you might not want to see me.
262
00:09:09,199 --> 00:09:11,779
See, that's kind of the problem, Axl.
263
00:09:11,881 --> 00:09:14,193
You were never clear
about what you wanted.
264
00:09:14,295 --> 00:09:16,740
Well, I think driving
halfway to your dorm
265
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:17,931
without ever telling you
266
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:19,766
sent a pretty strong-ish message.
267
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:20,801
[Chuckles]
268
00:09:20,903 --> 00:09:23,095
Look, that's all water under the bridge.
269
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,329
So, how are you doing?
270
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,739
I mean, you got divorced?
271
00:09:25,841 --> 00:09:28,008
[Clears throat] Yeah, it's kinda weird.
272
00:09:28,077 --> 00:09:30,544
But I'm still dating my ex-wife,
so that's cool.
273
00:09:30,646 --> 00:09:33,450
Uh, and I made
the Dean's list this year...
274
00:09:33,519 --> 00:09:36,608
of, um, people graduating.
275
00:09:40,359 --> 00:09:42,359
[Knock at door]
276
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,368
Surprise!
277
00:09:47,436 --> 00:09:49,470
Sean! Hey! What are you doing here?
278
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:50,538
Axl's not around.
279
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,106
I know. I actually came for you.
280
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,320
Really?
281
00:09:53,347 --> 00:09:54,508
I seem to recall somebody
282
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:57,278
wanting to go to the Chancellor's Ball.
283
00:09:58,039 --> 00:10:00,140
Wait, who told you?
How did you know about that?
284
00:10:00,165 --> 00:10:01,269
You did.
285
00:10:01,338 --> 00:10:02,792
Back when I was over here
helping you with your desk,
286
00:10:02,817 --> 00:10:04,126
you were saying you weren't sure
287
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,595
if you were gonna go
'cause you didn't have a date.
288
00:10:05,663 --> 00:10:07,600
And I was walking on my campus yesterday
289
00:10:07,669 --> 00:10:09,060
and it was really warm and pretty out
290
00:10:09,085 --> 00:10:10,713
and I remembered this word
you made up when we were young
291
00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:13,725
to describe days like that
where it suddenly is warm again.
292
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,540
-Springalicious?
-Springalicious.
293
00:10:15,565 --> 00:10:17,456
And it made me think of you
and I was like,
294
00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:19,106
"Why am I thinking of Sue right now?"
295
00:10:19,175 --> 00:10:21,652
And then I remembered
this was your weekend.
296
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:25,389
So, Suzy Q, on this beautiful
springalicious occasion,
297
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,667
may I have the honor of escorting you
298
00:10:27,769 --> 00:10:29,446
to the Chancellor's Ball?
299
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,889
Oh, Sean.
300
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:38,565
Don't you have a cellphone?
You could call ahead first?
301
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:42,498
I actually have a date.
302
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,566
Oh.
303
00:10:43,668 --> 00:10:45,835
[Chuckles]
304
00:10:45,903 --> 00:10:47,503
Yeah, I didn't -- I didn't call
305
00:10:47,572 --> 00:10:49,372
because I thought the surprise
would be nice.
306
00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:51,117
That was dumb.
307
00:10:51,186 --> 00:10:53,175
I just figured third time
was the charm, you know.
308
00:10:53,244 --> 00:10:56,989
You're gonna owe me for
tux rentals if I keep this up.
309
00:10:57,091 --> 00:11:00,590
But, hey, the important thing
is that you're happy.
310
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,022
I just wanted to make sure
you had the chance to go.
311
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,423
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
312
00:11:08,109 --> 00:11:10,593
Do you have to go already?
Why don't you stay a while.
313
00:11:10,662 --> 00:11:13,296
We could get a pizza
or hang out or something.
314
00:11:13,364 --> 00:11:16,666
I promise I won't make you
put together any more furniture.
315
00:11:17,514 --> 00:11:18,613
I --
316
00:11:19,063 --> 00:11:22,038
No, no. I -- It's okay.
317
00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:24,340
I should get back to Orson,
spend some time with my folks
318
00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:27,109
before going up to school,
and, uh, yeah.
319
00:11:27,212 --> 00:11:30,246
Have fun at the ball, Suzy Q.
You deserve it.
320
00:11:30,348 --> 00:11:31,714
Oh, but...
321
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,585
Okay.
322
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,378
It's been great catching up, Axl.
323
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,512
If you're in Italy this summer,
look me up.
324
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,636
I will!
325
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,971
It's the one that's shaped
like a boot, right?
326
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,039
[Laughs]
327
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,180
I've been watching what's been going on.
328
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,581
I know I'm next.
329
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,856
Ask me whatever you want.
330
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,162
And I brought you a drink.
331
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:07,550
Yeah, I'm not drinking that.
332
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:08,393
I wouldn't.
333
00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:09,652
Actually, no, you know what?
334
00:12:09,721 --> 00:12:11,239
Now that you're here,
I-I do have a question.
335
00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:13,367
Um, why do you like me?
336
00:12:13,435 --> 00:12:15,558
It doesn't seem like I'd be your type.
337
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:16,793
I'll always be here,
338
00:12:16,895 --> 00:12:19,709
in this lifetime
and the next, for eternity.
339
00:12:19,777 --> 00:12:20,755
But I don't get it.
340
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:22,056
Why are you wasting your time on me
341
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,333
when there's probably some other guy --
342
00:12:23,402 --> 00:12:25,838
or merman -- who'd be perfect for you?
343
00:12:25,907 --> 00:12:27,588
I mean, I've been telling you
for a long time
344
00:12:27,657 --> 00:12:29,343
nothing's ever gonna happen between us.
345
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:30,373
No, you haven't.
346
00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:32,142
You never told me you didn't like me.
347
00:12:32,244 --> 00:12:33,209
I didn't?
348
00:12:33,278 --> 00:12:35,512
No. You took me to prom twice.
349
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,381
Um...
350
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:40,120
If you didn't want to be with
me, why didn't you just say so?
351
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,944
You're not very clear
with your signals, Axl.
352
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,625
Maybe you should just sit here
353
00:12:45,694 --> 00:12:47,322
and think about all the pain
you've caused me.
354
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:49,836
And I hope it's reflected in my tip.
355
00:12:58,802 --> 00:13:00,268
Hello, Mother.
356
00:13:00,797 --> 00:13:03,266
Anything you'd like to, uh, tell me?
357
00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:07,079
H-Happy birthday...
358
00:13:07,148 --> 00:13:08,879
That was five months ago.
359
00:13:08,948 --> 00:13:12,907
No, it's something else,
something more revealing,
360
00:13:12,932 --> 00:13:15,510
something very interesting I found
361
00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:17,640
in my microfiche from 1983.
362
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,181
More interesting
than the hat in the tree?
363
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,049
Yes.
364
00:13:21,151 --> 00:13:23,084
My mother -- your wife --
365
00:13:23,153 --> 00:13:25,119
was arrested for indecent exposure.
366
00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:27,221
It was all right there in the Herald.
367
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:30,391
Oh, my God, I forgot about that.
368
00:13:30,493 --> 00:13:32,166
Oh, Brick, it was nothing.
369
00:13:32,268 --> 00:13:33,394
When we were seniors,
370
00:13:33,496 --> 00:13:36,230
my friends and I went streaking
through the Denny's parking lot.
371
00:13:36,332 --> 00:13:37,632
Eh, we thought it was funny.
372
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,267
Just a harmless high school prank.
373
00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:40,802
We didn't think we'd get caught.
374
00:13:40,870 --> 00:13:42,970
Who would've thought
there'd be cops at Denny's?
375
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,255
Well, it was quite the scandal
at the time.
376
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:46,809
The whole town was talking about it.
377
00:13:46,911 --> 00:13:49,243
Well, don't you worry that it
could come back to haunt you?
378
00:13:49,312 --> 00:13:51,612
I mean, anyone with a microfiche
machine can see this.
379
00:13:51,681 --> 00:13:53,147
It's what high schoolers do.
380
00:13:53,216 --> 00:13:54,916
They take risks and do dumb pranks.
381
00:13:55,018 --> 00:13:56,751
Did you ever do anything like that?
382
00:13:56,853 --> 00:13:58,052
Oh, you kidding me?
383
00:13:58,121 --> 00:14:01,289
When I was in high school,
we had this algebra teacher,
384
00:14:01,391 --> 00:14:02,457
total jerk.
385
00:14:02,525 --> 00:14:04,759
He drove a Fiero
with vanity license plates
386
00:14:04,861 --> 00:14:06,549
that said "COOLGUY."
387
00:14:07,007 --> 00:14:08,073
A little tip --
388
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,225
anybody who has plates
that say "COOLGUY,"
389
00:14:10,311 --> 00:14:11,243
not a cool guy.
390
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:13,522
So, I had this buddy
that was a mechanic,
391
00:14:13,569 --> 00:14:15,017
and one night when Mr. Coolguy
392
00:14:15,042 --> 00:14:18,445
was at some band concert,
me and a bunch of guys
393
00:14:18,514 --> 00:14:22,534
took apart his Fiero
and rebuilt it in the library.
394
00:14:22,636 --> 00:14:24,736
Why would you do that to a library?
395
00:14:24,838 --> 00:14:27,606
The library was fine.
You're missing the point.
396
00:14:27,675 --> 00:14:30,008
It was just a prank. It's what kids do.
397
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:31,843
My friends and I have never done that.
398
00:14:31,946 --> 00:14:33,420
Well, you guys are a bunch of nerds.
399
00:14:33,445 --> 00:14:34,379
Mike!
400
00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:35,380
What?
401
00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:36,815
Not like it's a secret or something.
402
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,629
He knows what he is.
403
00:14:37,654 --> 00:14:38,951
Mm-hmm.
404
00:14:39,053 --> 00:14:40,385
[Sighs]
405
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,026
I mean, this is the third time
406
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,417
he showed up to take me to a dance.
407
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:49,065
I just feel bad because
I never end up going with him.
408
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:50,592
He's always so nice.
409
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,689
He was the first person
410
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,381
to tell me he liked my hair
after I cut it.
411
00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:54,782
Sean sounds like a great guy.
412
00:14:54,817 --> 00:14:57,452
Oh, super great.
I just hope he's not hurt.
413
00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:00,698
He drove such a long way,
and it was such a nice gesture.
414
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,034
No, a nice gesture
is if you drive an hour.
415
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,836
I don't know what you call
a gesture after five hours.
416
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,371
Did I tell you it was five hours?
417
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,607
You know, you've been talking
an awful lot about Sean.
418
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:10,708
Have I?
419
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:13,741
Sue, remember how Julia broke up with me
420
00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:15,763
because I was talking about you
all the time?
421
00:15:15,923 --> 00:15:17,062
It kinda feels like there's somebody
422
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,215
you'd rather be going to this ball with.
423
00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:19,594
What?
424
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,410
No, no, no, no, no. I really like you.
425
00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:23,239
That's why I asked you and everything.
426
00:15:23,308 --> 00:15:26,315
I just didn't realize
Sean would even want to come.
427
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:29,051
I mean, he is a very social guy,
and he does love to dance.
428
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,133
One time at our block party --
429
00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:33,155
Sue, if you want Sean
to take you, it's not too late.
430
00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:35,431
Oh, no, no, no, no.
431
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,248
Tyler, I really couldn't do that to you.
432
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:38,321
No, really, it's cool.
433
00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:40,081
I'm not just saying this to be nice.
434
00:15:40,183 --> 00:15:41,245
I mean, yeah, I like you,
435
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:43,146
but we've only been dating
for three weeks
436
00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:45,284
and it's mostly been
hauling around drunks.
437
00:15:45,353 --> 00:15:47,753
I don't wanna be competing
with some other guy already.
438
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,122
So I think if you like this Sean,
439
00:15:50,191 --> 00:15:53,926
you should probably go talk
to him and figure that out.
440
00:15:56,798 --> 00:15:58,864
Oh, my God. Do you think?
441
00:15:58,933 --> 00:15:59,999
Yeah.
442
00:16:00,024 --> 00:16:02,720
I mean, we've known each other
our whole lives.
443
00:16:03,787 --> 00:16:06,162
But, no, he's already in Orson,
444
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:07,819
and he's going back to Notre Dame.
445
00:16:07,888 --> 00:16:10,027
Orson's only 42 minutes away.
446
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,747
You -- You told me that a lot, too.
447
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,033
[Door opens, closes]
448
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,336
Hey, Brick, everything okay?
449
00:16:20,405 --> 00:16:23,119
[Sighs] Not really.
450
00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:24,374
You know how you guys were talking
451
00:16:24,476 --> 00:16:26,142
about high schoolers pulling pranks?
452
00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:29,114
I don't know. You made it sound so fun.
453
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,643
And I thought,
since I've never done one,
454
00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:32,492
that I would try my hand at a prank.
455
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,360
Please tell me you didn't go streaking.
456
00:16:34,429 --> 00:16:36,308
The '80s were a very different time.
457
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,776
No, I had this great idea to change
458
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,514
the Dewey Decimal System in the library
459
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,483
by switching the 500s with the 900s.
460
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:45,319
People would go up to a shelf
expecting books on botany,
461
00:16:45,388 --> 00:16:47,688
but instead they'd get
ancient civilizations.
462
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:52,126
Everyone would be like, "What?
What crazy man did this?"
463
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,156
You'd be the first to do it.
464
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,547
I know! Right?
465
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,073
I had this whole elaborate plan,
like "Ocean's Eleven."
466
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,468
I was gonna push the cart,
Troy was the muscle,
467
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:02,836
Cindy was the femme fatale.
468
00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:04,932
But they just weren't into it.
469
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,364
So, guess I'll graduate high school
470
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:08,408
without an epic story.
471
00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,478
Maybe that's my story -- no story.
472
00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:13,079
[Sighs]
473
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,500
Axl, I know we're supposed
to go out for dinner,
474
00:17:20,525 --> 00:17:22,156
but I didn't eat anything at noon,
475
00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:24,230
so could we go out for lunch instead?
476
00:17:24,332 --> 00:17:25,865
It's not healthy to skip meals.
477
00:17:25,967 --> 00:17:28,758
Yeah, listen, April, we need to talk.
478
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,199
Um...
479
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,252
I've been feeling
really conflicted lately.
480
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,855
I feel like things
have been weird between us
481
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,089
since the annulment.
482
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,707
But I'm 22, and I just don't feel
483
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,355
ready to settle down just yet.
484
00:17:43,424 --> 00:17:45,230
Even though I know we already did.
485
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,664
Before, I would've just let things
486
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,398
keep doing what they're doing.
487
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,741
But it's just not fair, you know?
488
00:17:50,809 --> 00:17:53,938
Like, if I feel like we
don't have a future together,
489
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:56,540
I should just be clear
and say what I mean.
490
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,576
And what I mean is...
491
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,941
[Sighs] We should break up.
492
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,561
Wow.
493
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,498
I guess the first clue should've
been when we got divorced.
494
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:16,402
Yeah, well, that was one.
495
00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:22,000
So, then, did you ever love me?
496
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,130
Yes! Of course.
497
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,553
And some part of me always will.
498
00:18:27,215 --> 00:18:29,590
Just not enough to date me.
499
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,861
[Sighs] It's fine.
500
00:18:31,886 --> 00:18:33,038
I get it.
501
00:18:33,107 --> 00:18:35,264
You don't have to hit me over
the head to let me know stuff.
502
00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:39,393
I don't want to make a scene,
so I'll just go.
503
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,337
[Engine starts]
504
00:18:43,439 --> 00:18:46,173
[Tires squeal]
505
00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:49,476
What the hell are you doing?
506
00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:51,511
Aunt Edie's car died
and I gotta get to Orson!
507
00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:53,614
Uh, kinda in the middle
of something here, Sue!
508
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,682
I gotta talk to Sean!
Now stop distracting me!
509
00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:57,084
This is like driving a whale!
510
00:18:57,152 --> 00:18:58,919
You ever heard of a phone?
Just call him.
511
00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:00,721
He's not answering and I gotta catch him
512
00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:02,289
before he goes back to Notre Dame!
513
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,257
Okay, let me drive.
514
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,625
No, you'll stop! Every second counts!
515
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:05,826
At least let us out!
516
00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:07,728
No, I'm not stopping
till I get to Orson!
517
00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:09,062
[Groans]
518
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,734
Frankie: There's a reason
you go your separate ways
519
00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:15,555
right after a breakup.
520
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,100
Ooh.
521
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,658
How's that?
522
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:31,968
If we don't do something with butts,
523
00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:33,369
then I don't know what we're doing here.
524
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,437
This is so epic.
525
00:19:34,539 --> 00:19:36,005
Years from now,
I'll be telling the story
526
00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:37,941
about how I pulled a prank
with my parents!
527
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,343
You might wanna leave
the parents part out.
528
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,248
Oh, wait. I've got one.
529
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:48,176
"Cake beak pan farts."
530
00:19:48,245 --> 00:19:49,978
[Laughing] Okay.
531
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,248
I like, "Pancake breakfast Saturday."
532
00:19:55,685 --> 00:19:58,219
[Horn blares]
533
00:19:58,288 --> 00:20:00,755
[Brakes squeak]
534
00:20:09,192 --> 00:20:10,157
[Sighs]
535
00:20:10,205 --> 00:20:14,238
So, thanks for taking this so well.
536
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,518
Mrs. Donahue! Mrs. Donahue!
537
00:20:21,039 --> 00:20:21,946
Is Sean here?
538
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,137
Oh, no, I'm sorry, Sue.
539
00:20:23,239 --> 00:20:25,308
He left for Notre Dame hours ago.
540
00:20:26,201 --> 00:20:28,955
Don't you look beautiful!
541
00:20:29,231 --> 00:20:30,297
Wait.
542
00:20:30,349 --> 00:20:31,908
Aren't you supposed to be at a ball?
543
00:20:32,114 --> 00:20:35,216
Yeah, well,
the situation kind of changed.
544
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:38,586
Oh, honey. Do you still need a date?
545
00:20:38,688 --> 00:20:40,921
Ron can take you. Ron!
546
00:20:41,024 --> 00:20:43,357
No, I'm good. I'm good.
547
00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:44,658
You sure?
548
00:20:44,761 --> 00:20:47,225
I was a little worried when
you pulled up in such a hurry.
549
00:20:48,128 --> 00:20:49,964
Yeah. Well...
550
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,171
I was just chasing something
551
00:20:52,273 --> 00:20:54,235
that probably wasn't
even really a thing.
552
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:57,865
I'm fine. I'm fine, really.
553
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:04,334
So, Sue rejected one prince
and chased down another.
554
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:05,746
And although she didn't
555
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,632
get to go to the ball
with either of them,
556
00:21:08,657 --> 00:21:12,153
the unlikeliest of princes
came to her rescue.
557
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,736
Cool! Open bar!
558
00:21:19,838 --> 00:21:22,129
You ever tasted a Creamsicle margarita?
559
00:21:22,231 --> 00:21:23,431
Ooh.
560
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:30,900
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561
00:21:30,950 --> 00:21:35,500
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